Call Back
by WhiteGloves
Summary: Edgy Leorio shouts and rants on the phone about Kurapika who doesn't call. Gon and Killua receives rants too. The automatic female machine's voice received even worse but things are bound to bounce back when Hisoka answers it all! Short drabble! Foursome story!


***Call Back***

_**by: WhiteGloves**_

_*LeoPika Pairing/BL*_

_In this short fun story!_

* * *

So Kurapika has never kept in touch.

Never appeared.

Never called.

So everyone thought he may have just died somewhere.

Drop dead, Leorio calls it.

But that was an easy way out. The man thought.

So probably Kurapika was alive somewhere guarding some hidden tomb for his lost comrades.

So Leorio thought he'd say Hi.

And dials on the phone.

"_Please leave a message after the dial tone"_ said a female's automatic voice.

"Uh... this is Leorio... how are you? Call me back when you hear this."

That was the first call.

... and days passed but no call came back.

So Leorio thought he'd call again. Maybe Kurapika was busy.

And dials on the phone.

"Hey, Kurapika? Are you there? Your phone keeps sending me to the machine. What the hell's with that? Call me back."

Weeks passed and still no response came.

Who does he think he is?

A pissed Leorio dials on the phone again.

Damn Kurapika why won't pick up?

"_Please leave a message after the dial tone"_ said a female's automatic voice.

"$%#&##$ !"

And shuts the phone off.

But then hours later... he dials yet again.

And received the same response- "_Please leave a message after the dial tone"_ said a female's automatic voice.

" %#^#& ## %#! How many more curses do you intend for me to leave you, huh? Call me back!"

And he banged the phone down angrily.

"Who you calling to, Leorio?" Gon asked brightly.

" $^$#QWY#$% $!" was the response he got leaving Gon flying to Killua with a teary face.

"Hey!" Killua shouted as he tapped his best friend's back soothingly, "why the hell did you shout at him, dammit!?"

Leorio glared at the two boys. "_Go suck answers from your mother assholes_."

"The hell..." Killua's killing mode was activated only with Gon stopping him from the murder.

A better mood Leorio appeared the next day and dialed Kurapika's number once more.

"_Please leave a message after the dial tone"_ said a female's automatic voice.

A black seething aura appeared from the man- making Gon stop and stare at the man looking scared-

"You... you're really trying me...hehehe..." Leorio muttered to himself darkly. The evil aura grew, making Gon ran away finally.

"Wahhhhh!"

The next thing Killua appeared and saw Leorio chatting animatedly on the phone.

"Oh?" the Zoldyck boy muttered, "Kurapika finally picked up?"

"_I love you."_

Killua felt goosebumps run down his spine. He shot the tall man a look and then gulped.

Who's Leorio talking to?

"Kurapika," the man said in an alluring voice, "want to see me naked tonight?"_  
_

Killua's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets.

"Killua," Gon said as he appeared beside his friend, "what are you listening at?"

Killua turned to Gon and casually pushed his back.

"Let's go. This place is ugly."

"Eh? Has Kurapika picked up Leorio's call?"

"Doubt it." and off the two went.

For many days the two witness Leorio chitchat so lovingly on the phone like s hopeless romantic. Saying words Gon has never heard before that would always drive Killua nuts.

Until one day while Leorio was mooching off he phone... he heard it click to an answer.

Then there was a sweet poison voice that answered his love call back.

The man panicked and turned off his phone.

He couldn't believe it but _some body_ actually answered the phone!

And not just any some body- he recognized the voice!

And no... it wasn't Kurapika. It was another person entirely much scarier.

Leorio heard the voice in his ears again and felt his knees shake.

"Leorio?" Gon called, "you look pale. Why?"

" #&$^%$%^#$ !%#^$%#$ &!"

"WAHHHHHHH!"

Hours later we see the trio eating peacefully on the table.

Until eorio's phone rang.

Leorio went up to pick it.

"Hello?"

"H.E.L.L"

Leorio raised an eyebrow.

"What did you say?

"I said GO TO HELL!"

Leorio flinched as he recognized the voice.

"Kurapika?" a sweat drop fell down the side of his face. "Y-you're alive?"

"Eh? Kurapika?" Gon jumped down and tugged on Leorio's sleeves, "lemme talk to him!"

"Better yet," Killua said as he too jumped down beside Leorio, "put it in loud speaker's mode!"

"Ack- wait!" Leorio said but too late-

And everyone heard Kurapika's most missed voice.

And he went on like this-

"WHAT THE HELL WHERE THOSE PHONE CALLS ABOUT, YOU DUMB FOOL? WHAT WERE THOSE DIRTY THINGS YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT ME? AND WHY THE HELL WERE YOU CALLING ME JUST FOR THOSE PERVERTED STUFF! YOU ASSHOLE!"

"Whoa, Kurapikasounds lively!" Gon said brightly to the overbearing tall man as they continued listening-

"YOU THINK I'D DO THOSE DIRTY STUFF WITH YOU FOOL!? GO DIE! NO WAIT- WAIT FOR ME TO GET YOU AND I'LL KILL YOU MYSELF! PERVERTED DOCTOR WITH DIRTY THOUGHTS! TO HELL WITH THOSE SOUNDS YOU WERE MAKING! I'D NEVER SLEEP ANYWHERE NEAR YOU AGAIN! AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M NEVER GONNA ANSWER YOUR DIRTY PHONE CALLS! GO JERK OFF WITH SOMEONE AND DON'T TRY TO CONTACT ME! DAMN FOOL! THINKING ABOUT YOU MAKES ME WANT TO KILL EVERYONE HERE! DIE, YOU IDIOT!"

"Pretty hot stuff," whistled Killua as the blonde boy continued-

"AND ANOTHER THING- I WISH HISOKA FINDS YOU! HE'LL MAKE SURE TO MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD! HE'LL TIE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANT AND DO YOU NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU CRY! DIRTY PERVERTED DOCTOR! YOU DUMB DUMB ASSHOLE! GO TO HELL!"

And the other line died with a loud cracking sound.

Leorio looked dumbfounded.

It appeared that Kurapika was caught in a collapse of a building and got trapped underneath where he was not able to move at all. He was trapped in a tomb chapel where he was keeping all his sacred red eyes but because the building was so old it collapsed. That as it may, his phone was left on the floor and whenever there was a call it would go to voice mail. But not after hearing what the caller says.

So in short- Kurapika was left alone with only Leorio's dirty talks to accompany him.

Until the moment he was rescued by none other than Hisoka Who enjoyed much of Leorio's talk.

"_Tell him I'll meet him next!"_ Leorio could just hear Hisoka's ecstatic response. in his head. It made him shiver.

"Well," Killua said with a shrug and a look at the tall man who was still immobile, "at least he's alive."

"Hehehehe..." Leorio stared dumbly ahead without seeing a thing.

Just remembering everything he said on the phone was making him feel... dead.

He hoped then he would never cross paths with Kurapika again. He'd give his fortune for that to never happen.

Gon tugged on the man's sleeves again.

"Neh, Leorio. Call Kurapika and tell him let's meet."

The day ended with Gon flying to Killua with teary eyes once more.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

* * *

**~The End~**

_Thanks for reading!_


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